Teleshopping - don't you just love it?

I was sitting in front of the TV the other day and my mother had put QVC on. It's a shopping channel, in case you didn't know. Anyway, she went out the kitchen but she left it on, so for a minute or two, I paid attention to what the TV was saying to me. The remote was at the other side of the room, you see, and since my mother was watching QVC anyway, there was really no point in changing the channel since I'd only have to change it back anyway.

But that's besides the point— I was just trying to justify how it was that I came about watching a shopping channel. I can't remember sepcifically what they were selling, but it was definitely clothes.

But, as with many shopping channels, there was a strange American woman talking about the clothes, as well as the British presenter. She was rambling about the fabric of a particular blouse, and then said "... so we engineered this pantie."

Which, to me, is a bit odd. Bear in mind that 'pantie' is what a lot of American people call 'knickers'. So what I don't get, is this: why on Earth would you have to engineer underwear? Surely it can't be that hard to create, can it? I mean, it's clothes. Being engineered. Am I the only one who finds that odd?

Another thing: Thinking Putty may be used by the armed forces!

I bought Thinking Putty ages ago; you may know it as 'silly putty' or something. Firebox sells it here if you're interested. But anyway, I was just on the BBC website, and I came across an article that said that they're considering using a "shock absorbing goo". The video is here, on the page, if you want to see it.

Thinking Putty is amazing stuff, though.

I haven't really got much to say. Seems my blogging abilities are dwindling. Ah well. Until next time, I leave you with these...

Random over heard conversation snippet(s) of the (past few) days: "Jessica, I mean it. Don't disbehave." — Heard on the bus, coming home from Caerphilly. Seems these people are now making up their own words!
"I just text Sophie to see if she fancies a romp." — Also on the bus. Do these people not know the meaning of privacy and/or subtlety?

Movie quote of the day: "The only reasonable question left to ask is 'what the fuck is going on?!'" — It's from the film Shooter. I watched it the other day. It was quite good, actually.

Addicted to YouTube

Aye, it's true. But why not be addicted to YouTube? It's the most amazing website since... erm... brown bread? Possibly. Anyway, over the past week, I've kind of taken YouTube to the extreme, and I've now subscribed to a total of fourteen people— why am I even subscribing?!

Their videos are really addictive, though. Especially this one kid's videos; his name's Mitchell Davis and he occasionally posts a video. Okay, so that could be kind of fun, I suppose. But what you don't know is that his videos are incredibly random! He goes on about, well, loads of things. But that's besides the point; from a post-it monster to a song about recycling, his videos are rather cool. If you actually want to see his videos, click here to visit his YouTube channel.
Here's one of his videos:




Onto the next one. The other person whose videos I like to watch is Charlie. He's from England, and he's quite a funny fellow. Admittedly, the first video I saw of his made me think, "Uh-huh, he's annoying." But that's because I watched what was probably the worst video of his. I then watched another video of his, and found it quite funny. Like he says, he's cool, "but in his own quirky way." His channel is here. Ooh, he also makes music in kind-of a niche genre, 'trock'. Also known as 'Timelord rock'. Hey, don't knock it 'til you've tried it. Here:





Next one I subscribed to is littleradge. He's a Scottish fellow, and looks remarkably similar to David Tennant. His videos are also funny and random, and they're quite cool. I really liked his video claiming that David Tennant is copying him, and the video that has the "ten things you would say to your younger self". In fact, here's that video:



Anyway, that's basically all I've been doing over the past week; watching YouTube videos. I did also do some of my extremely boring, not-worth-talking-about-anymore coursework. But as the hyphenated adjective suggests, I ain't gonna talk about it.

Also, should I start a vlog or not? I put up a poll but no one answered it. Come on, you know you wanna answer it. It's easier to do than the bebo ones. You just pick an answer and click 'vote'. It'll then show you the results. That's all there is to it!

Stay tuned, more later!

Weird man on TV!

More about that in a minute.

I tried to do my coursework today. I did, I really did. I was doing the Welsh thing, writing about the six short stories. I only managed to write a page and a half, and then it all went wrong. My concentration abandoned me, leaving me lost, cold, alone...

Or you could say that I just couldn't concentrate. Either way, I got hardly any work done. And I really, really must get it done. Perhaps tonight will prove fruitful when everyone's gone to bed. I'll go downstairs with my iPod. And write about those damned stories!

It's boring work. I mean, most essays might be strenuous to write, but they're never boring. There's always something interesting about the essay. But with the Welsh, I just can't be bothered. It's not challenging, not constructive. It's just too easy, and annoyingly long. Thus, I gave up on it.

Ooh! I think I'm going to the doctor's tomorrow to find out about this damned cough. It is really annoying, and it just pisses me off. I sound funny when I cough as well, because I can't breathe properly in between coughs. I make some sort of raspy, choking sound. Like a cross between choking and that sound a balloon makes when you stretch the end out and let the air out and it makes a "pvvvv" sound. Sort of like that.

Back to the weird man. I was bored last night, at about 3 or 4 o'clock in the morning, so I went downstairs to see if there was anything on TV. I watched a re-run of The Graham Norton Show and then I was just flicking through the channels, hoping to find something. I happened to stop on Discovery Realtime. Guess what was on. Go on, guess. Did you get Joy of Painting? I doubt it. Anyway, I watched for a moment. It really freaked me out; the way the man was talking - well, it sounded like he was getting turned on by the paint and/or the brushes. It was rather-very-quite™ weird. After about an hour or two's worth of searching, I found a clip. Unfortunately, he's not painting in the clip. He's feeding a squirrel. Go figure.

Note: You might have to refresh the page a few times for the clip to show up. It's not from YouTube, see.

Bleep bloop

Yup, just like R2. Yesterday was Valentine's Day (note to self: look up correct punctuation on "Valentine's"), and I found this video on YouTube that's somewhat related to Valentine's Day, I thought I'd share it with you. I thought it was quite interesting. You may agree or disagree, you can always press pause.



Also, there's this one. This one's a clip of Bill Bailey though, and has absolutely nothing to do with V-Day. I know, calling it that makes it sound like there's an epidemic on our hands, but what can we do, eh?



I haven't got any more fun videos. Maybe I'll find some on my travels through the YouTube region of Cyberspace. Ooh, I may add a clip of Michael Buckley's What the Buck?! show. That's if I can be bothered. You can always just click the link and visit his channel.

'Til then, goodbye!

It's Sunday and I'm having fun!

It's great! I hardly ever have fun on a Sunday; I'm usually doing coursework or some other jazz. Last Sunday would be the exception to this normality. But I'm actually having fun today. I've abandoned coursework and all other such commitments, and I'm devoting my time to destroying all humans. It's fantastically fun, even if it did take me a while to start liking the game.



Yup, the game I bought is Destroy All Humans! Path of the Furon. I got it yesterday and I've played it quite a bit since. I've only managed to get to Sunnywood at the moment, though. Some bits have been hard - especially when I had to weaken the defences. The military and swat just kept on coming, including tanks and helecopters. The only way I managed to do it was to stop time and flee to the saucer. At which point, my seeker drone missiles made light work of them. They also made light work of the entire compound I had to destroy.

At one point, I had to destroy an entire city. That was really fun. The building just sort of go kaploosh, and then they're dead. Ooh, and when you start shooting the buildings, loads of people run out of them so you can then abduct them, thus increasing your DNA count. Which means you can buy weapons upgrades.

The best weapon so far would be the either the Venus Human Trap or the Superballer. The Superballer fires a rainbow-coloured ball that bounces around, getting enemies. And then it goes up and down, and smashes the enemy on the ground. The ball then disappears. So yeah, at the moment it's looking to be fun. I still haven't unlocked the ability to do the psychokinesis push in time-stop, but I'm working on it.

All hail Arkvoodle!

Idiots!

I think I've used that title before. Anyway, you have to see this. It's an e-mail I received today; I didn't get it at first because it went straight to Junk. I thought it was amusing.

From Mrs Naomi Solomon

No[204 Rue Des Martyrs Cocody

Abidjan, Cote d'Ivoire

ATTN:

DEAREST ONE OF GOD

I am the above named person from Kuwait . I am married to Mr Anthony Solomon who worked with Kuwait embassy in Ivory Coast for nine years before he died in the year 2004. We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days.

Before his death we were both born again Christian. Since his death I decided not to remarry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $2. 5 Million (Two Million Five Hundred U.S. Dollars) in the bank here in Abidjan in suspense account.

Presently, the fund is still with the bank. Recently, my Doctor told me that i have serious sickness which is cancer problem. The one that disturbs me most is my stroke sickness. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a church or individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein. I want a church that will use this fund for orphanages, widows, propagating the word of God and to endeavour that the house of God is maintained.

The Bible made us to understand that blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because I dont have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I dont want my husband efforts to be used by unbelievers. I dont want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way. This is why I am taking this decision. I am not afraid of death hence i know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the Lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace.

I don't need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health hence the presence of my husband relatives is around me always I don't want them to know about this development. With God all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the bank here in Abidjan . I want you and the church to always pray for me because the Lord is my shepherd. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and Truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life.

Contact me on the above e-mail address for more information, any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing another church or individual for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated herein. Hoping to receive your

reply.

Remain blessed in the Lord.

Yours in Christ,

Mrs naomi solomon.

What did you think? I changed nothing but the font, by the way. I don't think people could actually get more retarded. Well, you could turn into an American, but that's besides the point.

Chicken drummers.

Indeed.

It's snowing!

Since I forgot to blog about the snow the other day, I may as well do it now. There's really not that much to say other than: it's snowing! It's not sticking, though.

But do I care? No, no I don't; I dislike the snow. The only reason I like it is because it means having a day off, and we've already got that guaranteed, anyway. So why bother wishing for the snow to stick? You should all thank Iwan and I for the snow; we danced the Snow Dance, and look what happened! More snow!

I've got no idea what I'm going to do tomorrow. I've got to do coursework, obviously, but I want to go out as well. I'm thinking of going to Caerphilly again; it was quite fun on Saturday, and I could do with another rip-off hot chocolate from Costa. That's right kids, Costa may be the new Starbucks! It's a worrying thought, for who can oppose the beloved coffee parasite that is Starbucks? No one, that's who. They open more and more branches, until the entire high street will be made up of Starbuckses (what on Earth is the plural of Starbucks?).

But yeah, Costa sounds like a plan. Such an effective use of extra time, don't you think?

I've had an odd day

I went to Cardiff early this morning; I left at 8:15. Which is unusually early to be going to Cardiff. Anyway, I wasn't there long because my dad just wanted to get a phone. So after that, I went home. As it turns out, I hadn't told my mother that I was going to Cardiff; she wasn't amused. She was rather angry with me because she had no idea that I was going anywhere.

However, after that little event, I went to Caerphilly. I had to go to get pictures for my art thing, so I was wondering around taking photos. People were giving me the weirdest looks; I could tell they were thinking "Tourist!" So I gave them a look that said "Fuck off, I live down the road." Indeed, it was amusing. After taking the pictures, I bought some art-related supplies that came to a total of £20. Admittedly, it was a little pricey. But at least now I've got the stuff.

After that, I got bored and went for a wander. I saw Ryan and his cousin Lewis in Caerphilly. The first time we saw each other was brief; it was a quick "hello," and then we went our separate ways. The second time we saw each other was in Costa Coffee - I went in for a hot chocolate, and Ryan was there with his cousin. This meeting, like the first, was brief. There was some talk of the photo developing place, and again, we parted. The third and final time I saw them was when I was on my way home. I was walking past the bus stop (I was intending to walk home) when I heard them calling me. I heard them the first time they shouted, but I found the shouting amusing so I didn't turn around. After a short while of shouting, I turned around. And then we walked to Blockbuster, where I purchased Mass Effect. After that, we parted for the final time. What happened to them? Find out next week on Ryan and Co. Watch.

I can, however, tell you what happened to me. I walked towards ASDA, with the intent of using it as a shortcut to Mill Road. It didn't work, because I ended up going in. I bought Disaster Movie from there. It's utter shite, but I found it quite funny.

When I got outside, my mother called me and asked where I was. It was about six o'clock by this time, so I just said that I was on my way to the bus stop. So I walked back up town, talking to myself along the way.

What was it that I was talking to myself about? Pickled onions, that's what. I was wondering if the pickle juice argues with the onions. The onions keep taking credit for being pickled onions, and the pickle juice doesn't like it. The onions are standalone vegetables, and they can make a living on their own. But without the onions, the pickle juice is just vinegar in a jar. And that won't sell well because vinegar is supposed to be in a bottle.

However, onions are more popular when they're with pickle juice, thus completing the partnership. But who should get the credit, onions or pickle juice? I say pickle juice. 'Cause without it, the onions would just be plain ol' onions. And no one like a raw onion (apart from freaky people). Therefore, I believe that Pickled onions should be relabeled as:

PICKLE JUICE
with onion

Who's with me? You should all be with me, for I am the great Master Scott of Space's Sector Six!

Random overheard conversation snippet of the day: "...and my balls move about..." I overheard it on the bus. It was rather odd.

Red Nose Day

I know I'm not really the charitable type, but this year I think I might do something for Comic Relief. I'm not sure what to do yet, though.

I was thinking that since I'm such a talkative person that I should consider some sort of sponsored silence. It'll be difficult, though. I don't think I've ever gone the whole day without speaking before. I remember once going from reg to lunchtime without talking. We had Mr Jones covering us for R.E. and he thought I was being weird for not speaking. And then I explained that I was dared not to talk for the day. He gave me a piece of paper with which to communicate.

Because he's cool.

I failed at my dare at lunchtime, though. Someone hit over a yoghurt pot that had stuff in it, and the mysterious liquid within tipped onto the table, causing me to shout "Argh, it peed!" Thus breaking my 4 and a half hour silence.

I've got to say though, speaking after staying silent all day felt totally weird. You know like when you're doing something that should be physically impossible? It felt like that. I was talking, and it felt like I shouldn't be talking. Like by the laws of nature, I wasn't allowed to speak.

It was quite strange, I must admit.

It's 3 o'clock in the morning. How cool is that? I'm staying up all night again. If I go to sleep now, I won't get up in the morning. Grand. Funky monkey on a witch's broom. It's my new phrase, that. I'm not perfectly sure how I came up with it, but I definitely know that I did.

Anyway, you may have noticed my new sidebar picture. Since it's Red Nose Day next month, I thought I'd put a little picture (that I mainly made myself - I took the logo from the website, where it says to do so) on my sidebar. Just as a change from the usual Towel Day picture.

Well, I'm off to read six short stories now. Good morning, everyone!
Tomorrow's subject: Snow.

Quote of the Day: "Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so." — Ford Prefect, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Is it early or late?

It's five o'clock in the morning. Why am I up? Well, because I can't sleep, that's why. Simple.

Since I was up anyway, I thought I'd do my Art homework. I suppose it's about time I actually did the work that was given to us.

Whilst I was doing it, I actually realised what I wanted to do as the final piece of work to be handed in. For a while, I've been going with the theme of opposites. But.. I could just change the title of the page, and go with the theme of Event. Which would be a lot easier, given that I was originally intending to do Peace & War as opposites. I think it'll be easier to just do War. There's loads of pics, loads of art, loads of info, loads of poetry about it. Simple as making a pie from a circle. Just divide the circumfrence by the diameter, and you'll get yourself some Pi.

Where am I going with this? I don't know.

But I think now's a good time to rant about emos. They say that they are how they are because they're "emotional". Loads of people are emotional, but that doesn't mean they walk around in stupid clothes, listen to bad music, and cut themselves, does it? Although that may have been a generalisation, it's still a valid point in my view.

Plenty of emos would argue "You're stereotyping us!". But they're actually stereotyping themselves aren't they? The stereotype wasn't created around them, they created the stereotype. And it's not my fault that they're all conforming to it. So if an emo ever says "Stop stereotyping us." to you, tell them this: "I'm not stereotyping you. You've kind of brought it on yourselves. You all wear the same clothes, the same colours, listen to the same music, like the same things. Is that my doing? I think not." That'll grab 'em by the balls (or breasts, depending on the gender of the emotional indivivdual) and swing 'em 'round the room.

Like I said, I don't know where I'm going with this.

Snow was pathetic. It wasn't even snow. It was more like Grawp suffering a withdrawal from Head & Shoulders.

Morning!

Siaradwch Cymraeg!

Gan bo'r athrawon yn dweud wrthym trwy'r amser bod angen i ni siarad Cymraeg, cefais i'r syniad o flogio (dim ond am heddiw!) yn y Gymraeg.

Felly, beth sydd ar yr agenda? O ïe, yr eira 'na sy'n cwmpo tu allan.

Rwy'n mynd i gytuno gydag Iwan ar hyn; mae pobol yn mynd yn hollol nyts pan mae eira'n dod. Dim ond smec bach sy'n cwmpo, ond mae panig llwyr yn ei ddilyn. Yn aml, mae pobl yn rhuthro ir siop i brynnu bara a llaeth. Pam? Nhw yw'r dau peth sy'n mynd i mynd off gyntaf. Os wyt ti'n mynd i stocio lan ar unrhywbeth, prynna tins o stwff.

Does gen i ddim byd arall i ddweud. Ar ben hynny, mae gen i hen papurau arholiad i'w wneud, felly 'dw i off nawr. Hwyl!

(Cofiwch i weddïo am eira heno! Os weddïwch chi i Buddah, rydyn ni'n llawer mwy tebygol o gael eira! (mae'n stori hir. 'fory falle.)

The trolley was wonkey

It was. I went to Blackwood with my mother yesterday, and we went to the ASDA there. There was a trolley, on its own, by the door. And rogue trolleys are always bad news.

My mother said, "Get that one!" I said, "No! Rogue trolleys always have wonky wheels." She ignored what I said, and got the trolley. It had a wonky wheel. I was not amused, for it was I who had to push the trolley.

The highlight of the trip to Blackwood, though, would be the fact that I finally got shoes! I've been meaning to get new ones for quite a long time now, yet only yesterday I got them. Better late than never, eh? I got Skechers. Yeah, aren't I cool. They were £55... and I had to ask for the other shoe. On the box, it says "Please ask staff for other shoe". They took the shoe out of the box! Silly people, making work for themselves. I mean, I know it's for "security reasons" (in other words, the staff can't be arsed to see if someone is walking out of the shop with their shoes), but they're just making more work for themselves. They've got to catalogue the shoe, and then they've got to find the shoe, get the shoe, and put the shoe back in the box. Idiots.

This week looks to be a busy one. I've got Welsh to do, in which I've got to write a five-minute long speech about Saunders Lewis. I plan on doing that today. Then, I've got to write about a character in A View From the Bridge. I intend to do that today, too. The rest of the week, I'll be doing art work. I need to take some photos first, though. So I'm doing that after school tomorrow.

I've got some stuff to do now, though. Which means I've got to stop blogging.
I realise that I haven't blogged about Art properly. Fear not, I shall do it later or tomorrow. =]