Merry Christmas!

A simple post today, giving one simple message:

Merry Christmas, everyone!

x

On the night before Christmas...

...I was peeling vegetables, and then cutting them. Unfortunately, I was cutting carrots. Why so unfortunate? I'll tell you why - they contain beta-carotene, the same stuff they use in fake tan. As a result, my hands are orange, and the colour simply won't wash off. Stubborn stains...

I've been up to quite a bit lately. I've been to Caerphilly, been to Caerphilly, been to Caerphilly, been to Caerphilly, been to Caerphilly, been to ASDA, and been to Caerphilly. Totaling a number of six trips to Caerphilly, and one trip to ASDA. Exciting, eh?

Caerphilly was bonkers. People everywhere, getting in my way. Argh. I mean, I know it's Christmas, and I know that people are in a rush, but do they have to be so rude? They just stand in your way, and when you politely ask them to excuse you, they give you a look as if you've just committed murder. Well so-rry. I didn't know it was such a bad thing to want to be able to get past. Idiots.

And in ASDA - I went yesterday. That was a bad idea. Although I left at seven o'clock in the morning, it was still packed there. I only wanted veg, but do you think I could navigate through the isles with the idiot retards that make up the majority of the shoppers there? No, no I couldn't. I was trying to get to the potatoes, but there was someone in front of me moving at a snail's pace. Since there was no room on either side of this person, I could only move as fast as the person in front of me would allow. This concept, it seemed, was not evident to the woman behind me. Instead of patiently waiting until she could get past, she decided that it would be much more productive to ram me with her trolley. That's right - she was wheeling the trolley into me, over and over again. I got annoyed after a short while, and so I blindly kicked backwards, hitting her trolley. I didn't look behind me, I knew I'd hit her trolley. After that, she didn't persist with her trolley-ramming.

Costa Coffee is somewhere I don't usually go, but on Tuesday I went to Caerphilly with Priya after I'd been to ASDA. And in Caerphilly, we went to Costa Coffee. And if I may say so, the hot chocolate I had there was very nice. I might go there again.

I'm a little bit confused (nothing new there, then!). Usually I'm really excited for Christmas, but this year I'm not excited at all. I mean, I look forward to it, but the usual feelings of super-excitement are not present. Weird, eh? I remember last year I couldn't stay still because I was so excited. But again; this year, nothing.

Ooh, did I tell you that I've sort of become obsessed with Bill Bailey? I've watched his DVD about five times, and I keep watching clips of him doing songs on YouTube. Speaking of YouTube, has anyone else's been going slow lately? For the last couple of days, my YouTube has been going extremely slow. It's quite annoying for a frequent YouTube-er like me.

I was going to watch Hogfather earlier, but I gave up on it about ten minutes through. I simply can't be bothered to watch it.

Ooh look, only twenty-two minutes 'til Christmas. Do you think I'm going to get any sleep tonight? I very much doubt it. I don't get much sleep on the best of nights. The other day I woke up at seven o'clock in the morning, was up all night that night, and then I was up all day, and then I forced myself to go to bed at five o'clock in the morning. Giving a total of about 40-something hours of awakeness. After that day, I woke up early again. I think I only had three hours of sleep.

I've still got loads of books to read, and that number is going to grow. I've got a tendency to start books, and then not finish them. Weird thing is, they're really good books. But I just get bored of them, and then never get round to finishing them. So far, I've started-but-not-finished: Dresden Files: Summer Knight; The Saga of Darren Shan: Book 12; Rude Health; Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (re-read); Dubliners; Y Saith Pechod Marwol; Quirkology: The Curious Science of Everyday Lives; The Book Thief (recently started, but losing interest); and Politics: Cutting Through The Crap. I'm sure there are more, but I just can't remember them.

Oh well, I should go now. I've still got some stuff to wrap. My mother asked me to wrap some stuff for my step-dad for her, because she can't do it without him seeing her wrapping it.

That's it from me for now. Merry Christmas, everyone! I hope Santa is nice to you all.

X

Ooh, err...

I couldn't get a Countdown Timer because it kept on showing adverts at the bottom of the timer, and I'm adamant that there'll be no ads on here unless I put them there. And a lot of the other timers were "broken," and "cannot be used until they are fixed." Pah, stupid technology.

So instead of putting a countdown timer there, I made a little picture on Photoshop. It looks crap, but it did look quite good when it was in full size. It was shrunk a bit to fit on my blog, see.

Anyway, I'm going to talk to people on MSN. Because I have no life. Bye! x

School's over! For now, at least

Isn't it great? We're finally free! Well, sort of. I've got a ton of stuff to do by the time I go back, and I haven't made a start on it yet. Ah, it'll be all right - I'll start it Monday night, and do a bit every night 'til the end of the holidays. Then again, I always say that, and I never do.

It's so nice to have my own keyboard again. If I ever have to use a school keyboard again, I'm going to have to smash it to pieces with a large mallet. Yeah, a mallet would do nicely.

I've been bored lately, so I've been watching the Dresden Files on DVD. It's about a wizard PI, and it's super cool. I like Bob, the spirit who's been trapped in his skull for committing some nasty crimes, and he has to stay trapped as a spirit, living in his skull for the rest of eternity. Groovy gravy.

Watch it when, and if, it's on. They'll probably show it on SkyOne sometime soon, so if it's shown, I'll let you all know. It might sound crappy, but it's actually really funny, and really good. Well, it was good enough to make me go out and buy the books it's based on, anyway.

I'm quite tired at the moment, due to my lack of sleep last night. Seriously, I didn't sleep at all. Like, I was awake all night. Stupid, maybe. But I couldn't sleep, so I just came back on the computer. And then I watched nearly the whole series of Dresden Files, and then I had some fun on YouTube - there are some funny clips on there.

Not long for Christmas now, eh? I think I'll try and add a countdown timer on the sidebar. I'll see what I can do.

Also, you may have noticed that the Heroes thing has been taken down. That's because it's finished for the time being, but it'll be back at around February, when Volume Four, Fugitives, begins.

But now, I'm going to go. I've got some stuff to do, and I want to catch up on my subscriptions on YouTube. Ooh, and don't be surprised if I change the look of my blog. I might make it look a bit more... Christmasy. :)

They call that singing?

I'm in Graphics at the moment, but we've got a free lesson so I came on here. Good, eh?

Anyway, not that long ago, we had an assembly. It was... crap. There was singing, talking, reading-out-loud, more singing, some more singing, and a nice little speech from Mr Ap. Oh, joy.

In case you didn't notice, those last couple of sentences were riddled with sarcasm. Sense it, damn you! Yeah.

Mr Ap's speech was... not very interesting. All he told us was what they tell us at the end of every term: Our school is the best school. Our teachers are the best teachers. Our classes are the best classes. We are the best behaved students out of all the schools. Oh, please. I think now would be a good time to try out the unimpressed face: -.-

Not only did we have to stand (yes, stand!) through a 45minute assembly ma jigg, but we had to, in Mr Ap's words, "Worship Jesus and the Lord." Erm, no. Apparently, his idea of worshipping is badly singing a very bad song, so when the whole school was singing, guess what I did. I stayed silent! Mmmhm, I refused to sing. Mainly because I don't like singing, but also because I refuse to be forced into worshipping a non-existent deity!

Also, would it kill the school to get some tidy keyboards? These ones are so clunky - my keyboard at home is nice and flat, and all the buttons are pretty flat against the surface, so it makes for easier typing. On this thing, I keep making millions of mistakes because the buttons are further apart than I'm used to, so I press the wrong button. Argh.

Ah yes, about the title. The first "choir" that came on during the assembly was rather awful, and everyone was very... small. Stupid little year seven brats! I don't like them. So, as the To Do list written on the back of my hand says, we must "Destroy the choir." Join me!

Ooh, Twilight tomorrow! Yay! I've got my ticket already - my mother drove me to the cinema last night so that I could get one. She didn't want to buy a ticket online because her credit card is a bit foofy. So she drove me down, and I bought two tickets. I thought there'd be someone without a ticket, so I bought a spare. As it turns out, Priya didn't have a ticket so she bought the spare one off me. So now most of us can go! Yay!

Go Jasper!

Also, I'm sixteen now. Yay! Luckily, I can still get away with buying kids' tickets, so it's still cheap for me. I can probably get away with it because I both act, and talk like a child. Cool, eh?

Ciao! I've some surfin' to do. (:

... stupid keyboard... *angry mumbles*

Ah, crap

Guess what I've gone and done? Broken my phone, that's what. I was in Cardiff playing with my phone, and then I dropped it. Woops. The screen is broken, so I can only see less than a centimetre of it at the bottom of the screen. So texting is out of the question, as is receiving texts.

So yeah. I can only call people now. Quite annoying, but I think I can cope for a week - then I can go get a new phone with my birthday money. =D Can anyone suggest a good phone, pay as you go, on a good network? I want network with cheap texts, and relatively cheap calls. (:

So yeah, that's my yesterday. Fun, eh?

Now I've got to go reduce my research for Welsh. (:

Toodles!

Oh dear, oh dear...

I really need a taste in music. Honestly, I'm listening to a song about poo at the moment. Curiously, this song about poo is the only thing that kept me sane when I was on the plane going to Mexico. Weird, eh? I listened to it on repeat, so by now I know all the words. Behold, I shall type them from memory. Iwan - you believe me that I know all the words, don't you? I sing the song to you in Biology sometimes. :)

Behold:

"Everything that lives on Earth
poos in some way,
that's how the cycle happens
each and every day.
Just look at the green, green grass
and the birds up in the sky,
it's all here because of poo
and now I'll tell you why:

Grass is eaten by the cattle
which is eaten by women and men
it fuses with their bodies
and becomes poo again.
The poo goes through the sewers,
where it's dumped into the sea
and it's eaten by the plankton
and becomes the fish's meal.

And when that bigger fish with the poo still inside,
swims up near the shore and gets eaten alive
by a grizzly bear that poos on a dead piece of sand
so it can spring to life, and become food for the land!

It's the poo of the antelope,
the poo of the giraffe
it falls onto the Earth
and becomes the blades of grass.
The grass is eaten by the cattle,
which comes out the other end,
to make food for the humans
and turns back to poo again...

*Hanky and Cornwallice talk a bit*

I think I see now...

I'm the poo of the antelope
that flows onto the ground
becomes the grass of tomorrow,
that the grazers turn around,
So I'm the leg of the leopard,
and the wings of the hen
which becomes dinner for the humans
and turns back to poo again.

That's the cycle, the cycle of poo!"

Here's the song. It was on South Park.



I couldn't find the proper video, so this is an AMV that someone made. It's still the same song, though. :)

I leave you with this advice:

If life sucks, don't kill yourself. Because if you do, you'll think "Crap. Shouldn't have killed myself."

:)

And a video I thought was funny. From those nice people at MadTV - you know the ones who did the Shakira spoof and the Project Runway spoof? Those people.

It's Time

That's the title of my exam story, by the way. It took me a while to copy out, but here it is.

It's Time

He hoped he would have the strength to do what was right. But he couldn’t; it was his best friend! How could a boy do this to someone so dear to him? There had to be another way.

Alex, you see, was a time traveler, who also possessed the rather handy ability to transport himself instantly to wherever he wanted, whenever he wanted, by teleportation. Or as he liked to call it, zapping. Alex always did have an odd mind.

Although possibly one of the cleverest people in the Northern Hemisphere, Alex was now faced with a problem, and quite a big problem at that.

As all stories go, Alex, the sixteen year old time-traveling zapper, had a girlfriend. A pretty, funny and exciting girl whom Alex had had a crush on for as long as he could remember; so he’d finally plucked up the courage to ask her out. Alex being a handsome, charming young man was met with an excited “Yes!”

But inevitably, the zapper couldn’t live happily with his girlfriend, and she was promptly kidnapped by a rather cliché villain, who just happened to be Alex’s best friend, Matthew. Matthew (or M as he now liked to be called) was the jealous type, and had always secretly loved Alex. Yes, in that way. So when he found out that his best friend and his next door neighbour were going out with each other, what was a slightly insane gay guy to do?

As I’ve already said, he was to kidnap the girl.

Alex pondered his problem, and wondered what he could do about it. Nothing seemed to be the right thing to do, but he had to do something or else he might lose everything.

Having given it some thought, Alex decided to act. So he zapped to M’s supposedly secret lair, and said, “Hi!”
At which point, M jumped into the air with a little squeal of shock. “How did you get past my defences?!” M asked, clearly outraged.
“Duh, zapper remember?” Alex replied.
“Of course I remember, I remember everything about you.” M answered, looking away from Alex, and beginning to feel the effects of extreme nervousness.
“Err... what? Why do you remember everything about me?” Alex inquired, a look of bewilderment upon his face.
“Because- because-” M sighed, and looked down at the floor.
“Matthew, “ Alex said, laying his hand on M’s shoulder. (M gave a small shudder of excitement.) “what is it? You can tell me anything, you know that.” Alex said reassuringly.
“Well err... okay. I- I-” He sighed again. “I love you, Alex. And not just as a friend, as something more.” M couldn’t believe what was happening — why on Earth was he telling Alex this?
“Well, I’m sorry to disappoint, but I don’t swing that way. I like girls.” Alex said softly, trying not to hurt M’s feelings.
“As I thought.” M mumbled miserably. “Well, feel free to leave whenever you want. The girl’s in a cell downstairs.” M added.
“Oh, okay. Thanks.” Alex thanked him. He gave M the hug he was obviously burningly desiring, and then he proceeded to zap downstairs. He rescued Sue, zapped back to his flat, and once again pondered his problem.

He’d lost his mother’s ring and was panicking. Should he just get a new one, or confess to his mother?
“Oh, Alex - I found this earlier.” Came Sue’s voice from the kitchen. She appeared then in the doorway, holding a small silver ring in her hand. “I nearly stepped on it this morning when I got out of bed.”
“My mother’s ring! You found it!” Alex exclaimed in excitement. He hugged Sue with all his might, and kissed her lovingly on the lips.

And so, Sue was rescued, the problem was solved, and M was left to wallow in his own misery. A great ending, don’t you think?

- - - - - - - - - - - -

That's the end, by the way. What did you think? I didn't change anything of it whilst typing it out. I think I might have changed the name of the girl, but that's it. Happy reading!

About that thing...

"What thing?" I hear you ask. Well, there is no 'thing' — I just couldn't think of a title.

I was super chuffed the other day. I had some of my exams back - English, Spanish, and Maths. I don't mean to brag or anything, because that would make me sound like a stuck-up self-centered bastard. Which I don't intend on being.

Anyway, as I was saying, I was super chuffed. I got an A in English paper 1, and paper 2. Celebrate! Miss Myhre didn't say anything about my story, other than the fact that it's 'very random'. So, erm, woo.

I had my maths back as well. I would have been really happy if I'd have got at least 80%. But I got 75% in paper 1, and 74% in paper 2. Giving an average score of 74.5 % across the two papers. Which for me, isn't half bad.

Oh yeah, the Spanish thing. Well, I thought I did awful in the Spanish exam. It was short, but it was quite difficult. Luckily, I got a B overall. Which is good.

My story for English was quite random though. I'll copy it out onto the computer, and so I'll shove it on here. I think some people want to read it anyway. Stay tuned!

News, everyone!

Lately, I've been getting bored. So what better way to quench one's boredom than with a good dose of comedy? The answer: there isn't a better way.

My favourite comedian at the moment would have to be Bill Bailey. Honest to God, I can't remember the last time I laughed so much.

A clip:



Luckily, someone was nice enough to make a copy of the original YouTube clip so that it's possible to embed it. Cool, eh?

The other clip I like is the Doctor Who one. Unfortunately, I can't embed it because the person who uploaded the video to YouTube has embedding 'disabled by request'. So I'm afraid all I can do is offer a link to the video. Click here to see it. Please click the links, they're really funny.

Another one of my favourites is the one about piano action films. Click here to see it.

Finally, this one. It's about the Magic Roundabout:


I like Bill Bailey. I've already ordered two of his DVDs; one for my birthday and one for Christmas - Part Troll and Tinselworm.

Other comedians I like are:

• Michael McIntyre
• Jo Brand
• Gina Yashere (not the best clip)
  
• Hugh Dennis
  
• Russel Howard
• Lee Evans
• Alan Carr
• Jimmy Carr
• Dara O'Briain
• Steve Hughes
• Stephen K. Amos

I've put links to clips of each of them on YouTube. Have fun, and you should be thankful I put so much effort into finding the clips and adding links. It's not exactly the simplest thing to do, you know. It takes time.

I don't believe it!

That's what the guy who plays Gaius in Merlin says in the other show he was in. I think it's called One Foot in the Grave or something.

Anyway, I've something to blog about. It's nothing.

People say that nothing is nothing, where in fact... it's something. Because we've taken 'nothing' and deemed it as such, it has become something. Because if nothing were nothing, it wouldn't be nothing - it simply wouldn't be. It wouldn't exist, so it wouldn't be called 'nothing', because there would be no such thing as nothing. See what I mean?

I've been quite busy, you know. I built my new bed. I sorted my wardrobe out, so I can now fit all my games and books and DVDs in it. I've got way too many books. I can never bring myself to throw them out, so my collection seems to be growing, and growing, and growing. I haven't read a good book in ages, apart from the one I'm reading now. Well, I started reading Harry Potter 7 again, and that was really good. But I've started reading Twilight. It's really good, and quite funny. I'd recommend it.

Toodles!

OMG, I haven't blogged since like, Friday

I know! Awful, isn't it? It's been about... *counts slowly* 3 or 4 days since my last post! I think I'm going to die.

Anyway, moving on. Welcome to the start of December. Albeit a bit of a late welcome, but a welcome all the same, aye? So how's December working out for everyone? Nice and cold for you all?

It's cold enough for me. Even though you'll probably find me complaining about the cold, I actually quite like it. It's better than that bloody summer (if you can call that drisly few months we had 'summer') we had. Cold is good. As is early darkness. Fun fun fun.

But the exams continue! Fear not though, we're on our options now. Graphics and Art for me tomorrow, and then IT and Spanish on Thursday. And what have we got to look forward to at the end of the week? Oh yes, that's right: Science. All bloomin' day. How nice of them to give us a nice end of the exam week, eh?

As y'all know, we had maths and English today. Maths was okay, I think; it could have gone better, but it could have gone a lot worse as well. Luckily, it went okay. The one question though, with the cubes... I was confused with that. I was just staring at it for ages. I finished early again, so I wasn't wasting any time by staring at it.

Oh yeah, I haven't told you about yesterday, have I? Well maths paper 1 was supposed to be a two-hour paper. How long did it take to complete? Forty minutes. So how the hell did the exam board work out that it should take us 2 hours to do that? It's no wonder so many people got As in their maths GCSEs. Pah.

Saying that, I've probably done really badly. I know I have in paper two, but... yeah...

Because I finished my paper early, I didn't know what to do with myself. I went over the paper a few times. Got bored. Stared at the clock for a while... Got bored. So then I found something really interesting to do; you know those wooden panels on the wall in the gym? Well I was wondering, are they mass-produced like that, or are the patterns on them randomly occuring during the milling process? Turns out, it's random. I checked. All of them. And none of them match; therefore, random. Mmkay?

We also had the Welsh yesterday, didn't we? That was okay. I finished on time, but my story was a bit strange... I did the story, obviously. But... there was this kid, and he ripped this guys neck open with his teeth. Yeah, most of my Welsh and English stories are like that. Quite strange, really.

A list of my stories from exams I've done in the past:

The Gift
A story about a girl who kills a load of CHAVs with a magical amulet she was given as a gift. See? It ties in with the title.

There was a welsh story that I can't remember the title of. It was about a guy trapped on a red island, surrounded by a sea that was so still, it looked like a mirror. Might have been metal, not sure. Anyway, the guy jumps into a hole and ends up back home. Fun.

Another Welsh one, where two people are on a bus (Taith ar Fws), and the driver actually turns out to be a demon. He takes them to another world, and the girl dies. The grass is orange, the sky is green. The bus gets to the other world by driving over a broken bridge at a very high speed. Flash. Other world. Simple, aye?

I've already said about my English story I did the other day... it was about a guy called Alex who can teleport. You've got to read the story to make sense of it. Too hard to explain.

An English story that told the tale of three people on a journey (the title was Journey) to find an artifact in Egypt. They find the artifact, only to have it explode, killing them all.

I can't remember any of my other ones at the moment, but they'll come back to me in time.

Has anyone seen Kyle XY? It's funny, and really random. I suggest you watch. Monday nights, 8 o'clock, Living. It's super good.

I should go revise...